Letting Go

Brief Title:
Rogue and Ms. Marvel deal with their past

Characters:
Rogue, Ms.Marvel

Scene Runner/Watcher:

IC Date:
06/03/12 19:00

Location:
Xavier's Mansion

Summary:
Ms.Marvel comes for a visit to X-Men's home and ends up making peace with Rogue.

Social or Plot:

TS:
No

Log:
Rogue makes her way over the door to see who is ringing the doorbell "Jeez, Xavier needs hire somebody to get the door or somebody, surely there is people that got no problem with mutants," and opens the door to see Ms.Marvel standing there.

Given the invitation from Alex a few weeks ago, Carol finally decided to head upstate and pay a visit to the Mansion - the /other/ Mansion - and say hello to folks. It's a quick flight for her, and easy enough to land unnoticed given the isolation of the estate grounds. Of course, she well remembers arriving here years ago in McCoy's van, powerless, terrified and lost. It's far different, now, especially since Amora's gift. But still, seeing Rogue's face as the door opens hits her in the gut like Juggernaut on speed. Oof!

"Hello ... Rogue." Carol offers, in a carefully deadpan tone, trying to keep the emotion out of it. She's not here to pick a fight. But damn, it's hard to stomp on that instinct.

Rogue looks at Ms.Marvel, wondering why of all the people that could come by, it had to be her "Hello Ms. Marvel, is there something Ah can do for ya?" trying to maintain a friendly tone, even avoiding calling her real name, figuring Xavier wouldn't want a fight in the mansion between them....…again.

Carol shrugs her shoulders, extending her gloved hand - slowly, low enough to be pretty clearly not a punch. "Just stopped by for a visit, really. I ran into Alex recently, on a job. He talked about the Mansion, said I should stop by for a visit." And here, right at the front door, is one of the /best/ reasons why she has avoided doing just that for so long. Damn, this is uncomfortable. "You ... look good? You doing OK?"

Rogue is also quite uncomfortable, after all she has realized what she did to her and knows there is no making up for it as she reluctantly and briefly shake her hand. "Ah'm doing fine......thanks for umm askin', how are ya doing? Well, Alex ain't around right now, but ya come in if ya want?" and steps out of the way, perhaps a little far behind than necessary.

Carol nods to Rogue, offering an uncertain smile. "Thanks. I'm glad to know that you're doing alright." She pauses a bit, a flicker of an expression. "I know it wasn't easy, Rogue. I never said that to you. She was your Mom. She cared for you. And she sent you out after me. And after that ..." Carol fades out for a bit, with a sigh. "After that, you got guts. You walked away, you asked for help, and you changed." Finally, the blonde turns around to actually face Rogue, still standing by the door. "I never said that to you. But you deserve to hear it. We may never be ... easy, with each other. But ... I'm learning to be better. To myself. To everyone." Whatever that means.

Rogue shocked at Ms.Marvel actually was trying to apologize, but hearing what Ms.Marvel was she though was the story, she feels she has say some things on of her own "Ah....…Ah appreciate that, Ah really do, but Ah think ya better come in and take a seat, but that ain't the whole story and Ah think ya deserve to hear it."

Carol looks at Rogue for a few moments, letting those words, those thoughts, mill around in her skull, weighing them and what they might mean. Then she nods, slowly. "Alright. If you want me to hear the whole story, Rogue, I'll listen. You don't /have/ to tell me. But if you want to ... I'm here." A few moment's thought, and then Carol pauses in her walk down the hall, a golden glow billowing around her feet and climbing up her legs. As it passes, her clothing changes from that ebon black uniform with bits of gold and crimson to simple grey sweats with navy USAF logos, and cross-trainers. A humble, and perhaps friendlier look. She then follows Rogue towards the living room and takes a seat.

Rogue looks at Ms.Marvel "Thats a neat trick Ah wish I......never mind" she doesn't want to finish that thought because she doesn't want to say the wrong thing "Well ya are trying to clear the air with me, so I think Ah should do the same with you, especially about two things. The first thing is that Mystique didn't send me to attack ya, Ah did that on my own, because Ah thought ya were going to kill Mystique." She wants to let that part sink in before she continues.

Carol glances up at Rogue, and smiles almost warmly. She doesn't seem to mind the implication at all. "You sort of wish you'd have managed to pick that up, along with everything else. I understand. I find it darned handy. But I didn't learn that until after the Brood, with Binary." She certainly seems to have taken that far better than Rogue was concerned about.

The blonde listens while Rogue explains about the reasons for her attack, and then nods. "Well, I can understand that. As I said, she was your mother. The mother who accepted and supported you. You wanted to protect her. So you did. If I was in your state, I'd likely have done the same, or tried, Rogue." It isn't pleasant. But she can respect it.

Rogue nods "Thanks, Ah never understood how I kept only part of you or any of you for that matter. Beast only tried explain to me his theory that it involved ya Kree Genetics, but I still sure some of the words he was usin' didn't exist in the English language." She laughs for a bit before the smile disappears "Well the second thing Ah didn't go the X-Men voluntarily, Ah did it because Ah misheard a prophecy and tried to stop it, but Ah almost ended making the actual one come true." She stops after that, trying to come with the words to describe what she wants to say.

Carol listens, smiling and even chuckling at the bit of humor. "Hank is like that, the adorable blue puffball." she teases. "What prophecy was this, Rogue? What were you trying to prevent?" That's something she hadn't heard before.

Rogue finally decides what say "Well Mystique had a girlfriend named Irene Adler, but folks knew her as Destiny, because she had some ability to know what the future may look like, and one her prophecies, which Ah thought was that ya killing Mystique which is why Ah attacked ya, was actually that ya were going to cost me mah soul, which almost happened. See when Ah first touched ya, ya got in my head, which is why Ah threw ya off the bridge, 'cause Ah thought if Ah killed ya, ya voice in my head would shut-up, but neither of that happened. Anyway as time went on ya got stronger and stronger….ya started take over me." Tears start forming as her voice starts to break "Ah got scared….that Ah was losing me….Mystique couldn't help me none……the only thing Ah could think of that Xavier was a powerful telepath….Ah thought he help me….…save me." She collapses in a chair crying "Thats why Ah was there, to save what was Anna Marie before….…" and stops and cries

Carol frowns at first, listening as Rogue explains about what she was thinking and why she made the attack. Then, she learns why the attack was so brutal, why Rogue seemed to become so enraged during the fight. But when the younger woman devolves into tears, Carol cannot help herself. This is another human being in pain. No matter the history between them, she cannot help but respond to that. She moves to Rogue's side, sliding an arm around her, careful to be sure that no exposed skin will touch even as she embraces Rogue to give her the human contact and support she so clearly requires. "I don't blame you for that, Rogue. I did. I'll admit that. It felt like the most horrible thing in the world, to have been told that the loss of everything I was came down to one woman, and then that one woman showed up here, even while I was trying to get the help I needed to ... be something other than a shell. But I'm sorry that my response made what was already an impossible situation worse." Carol knows, at least to some extent, about the challenges Rogue has faced dealing with the 'psychic echoes' of Carol's own presence. She was't there for most of it, after the start. But she has heard enough to imagine, from what Rogue now says, that it was far worse and far harder than she ever imagined.

Rogue nods as she tries compose herself "Ah don't blame ya for hating me, Xavier told me that Ah basically taken ya life up to that, and he could only restore the memories, but nothin' else. Your response wasn't as bad as rest of the X-Men though , they all hated me and didn't trust me none, especially Ororo and Logan. It took me a long while to convince them otherwise."

Carol gives Rogue a gentle squeeze. "Both of them hated what you had done, what you represented. And I am quite sure that both of them have, in time, learned to know /you/, not your prior deeds and actions, and to trust and care for you as a friend, ally and teammate." She's sure of this, because she has heard as much. It was hard to hear at the time. But she has grown to accept it herself. Once Rogue has herself back under control, Carol gives one more little squeeze and then releases, scooting back to give the other woman some space. "Do you still struggle with my memories and feelings inside you?" she queries.

Rogue shakes her head "After a time, what I had of you in mah head and me came to understanding." She really doesn't talk to about the time in Genosha "It...err She and Ah worked together, using the skills ya had when Ah touched ya, and she didn't try take over except a few times, when she redecorated mah room and one time when she had me wearing ya costume in battle, neither of which Ah particular enjoyed, but when me and the X-men were fighting Nimrod, it and me got sucked through a thing called a Siege Perilous, some kind of gateway that judges people and puts them in different lives,at least thats what they told it did, me and ya got separated, but there wasn't enough life to support both of ya, so we fought. Ah was going to let the other ya win, 'cause Ah didn't want to wreck ya life a second time, but Magneto stepped in whatever reason, and knocked us both out, and when I woke up, ya were gone.

Carol listens, not judging. At least, not saying anything. She can't help that she has a personal investment of a sort in what is being said and what is being discussed. But Rogue needs to say it, and Carol needs to hear it. So she listens. Then, at last, she nods. "Well, I don't have any love for Magneto, Rogue. But I'll tell you I'm glad he stepped in. That 'me' ... that wasn't me. /I'm/ me. There don't need to be two of me, and none of you. You deserve your life. And ... I'm glad you're having that life, free of ... me. Or at least, free of being haunted by me, except in the way that we are all sometimes haunted by the things we have done that we might wish we had not." That part is quite human, after all.

Rogue nods "Ah know ya was still around, but when Ah looked at her,Ah saw everything that happened on the Golden Gate, and Ah remembered what you said about what Ah had done to ya life, and Ah just couldn't do that to ya again."

Carol nods, offering a sad but understanding smile. She reaches out and lightly presses a hand to Rogue's shoulder. "It's alright. I understand that feeling, and I appreciate it. I'm just saying ... I'm glad you aren't gone. And I'm glad that ghost of me isn't still haunting you." Just the other woman's memories of that ghost, but that's enough burden for anyone to bear.

Rogue smiles for the first time "Ah really appreciate ya sayin' that and Ah been thinkin', Ah don't believe thank you to ya, 'cause despite everything else that happened if Ah didn't see the world through ya eyes, Ah probably would still be with Mystique and maybe even with Magneto, buying into all his nonsense. So thank ya for making me a better person.

Carol smiles gently and nods. "Well, I can appreciate that. We all need those inputs that help guide us into changing our lives. I'm kinda flattered I could be that for you, however painfully." Hey, everyone wants to be a better them, right? So why not be supportive.

Rogue smiles at the compliment "Yeah Xavier and the X-Men have shown me a lot, but ya were the one that first one mah eyes, but Ah do wish it didn't have to be at the expense of ya life. Can I ask if ya ever been able to get back anything since ya left here?"

Carol smiles ruefully, shrugging her shoulders. "Honestly? Not for a very, very long time, Rogue. For a long time, I had no emotional connection or depth to my memories before your attack on the Golden Gate Bridge." Ow. That has to suck, right? "But recently ... recently that has changed. Someone I don't trust ... someone I would have said was an enemy ... came to me. Gave me a gift. I don't fully understand why. I'm not even sure she understands entirely why. But ... she gave me back many of the feelings I had lost." Must be pretty deep, some of those feelings.

Rogue almost goes to hug Carol, but Rogue remembers what she can do and pulls back quickly "Ah'm very happy you could can get back some of what Ah took from ya, but this women isn't who Ah think it is, a blonde that thinks she is much prettier that she actually is?"

Carol cants her head slightly to the side, considering Rogue curiously. "Well, there are a lot of blonde women in the world who think highly of their looks, Rogue." she comments, wryly. And she extends her hands, taking Rogue's gloved hands in hers and giving a light squeeze - their equivalent, for now, of that hug. "But why don't you tell me which particular blonde you had in mind? I'm curious."

Rogue almost involuntarily withdraws her hand, but decides to leave in for now "Well Ah'm thinking its Enchantress, 'cause I know them Asgardians got a lot of magical abilities, and they are generally a decent bunch, even if they got bad apples like her and Loki.

The blonde nods. "Yes. The Enchantress. Amora. I don't entirely understand why she did this. Why she /cared/ to do this. But she did it. She ... she gave me back the feelings of love I once knew, those buried in the memories I could see, but could not feel." Carol shies quietly, lowering her gaze. "It has changed a lot for me, being able to feel those things again."

Rogue ponders this as well "Well Ah don't know, The X-Men don't have the same interactions with the Asgardians like the Avengers do, but from have Ah learned about her, she don't do stuff like that just to be nice. Ya ask Thor about this, maybe he know something?"

Carol smiles a bit, and nods. "Actually, yes. Talked about it with Thor, and his betrothed, Sif. They weren't feeling too trusting about it either, and I understand how they feel. I really do. But ... I'm not going to ask to give back a gift like this. I'm going to accept it for what it is." And if Amora comes calling some day, as Thor and Sif seem sure she will, Carol will deal with that then. "My contacts tell me there's an off-worlder visiting?" she comments. Slight change of topic?

Rogue nods and lets her change the subject, knowing quite well that Carol could take her of herself "Yeah, her name is Hepzibah, I think she works with Scott's father, but I guess she wanted to see Earth for a little bit, haven't had the chance to meet her yet, one of several new arrivals I haven't met."

Carol smiles. "I knew her. Hepzibah is a good woman. Strong. I liked her. Worked with her as Binary when I was with the Starjammers." A time period most of the earth-born heroes are largely ignorant of in Carol's history, though the X-Men at least know it happened, since she was with them when the Brood kidnapped her and awakened the Binary power in the first place. "Maybe I'll stop by again, so I can say hello. But you tell her Carol Danvers says hello, when you see her."

Rogue says "If Ah see her Ah will, but before ya go, can Ah ask something? That gift from Amora, was that reason ya wanted to make peace with me?"
The blonde woman considers Rogue for a bit, or perhaps just looks at her while mulling her own thoughts. "Well, to be honest, I didn't come here to find you. Turns out I'm glad I did, mind, but that wasn't the plan. I really did want to come and see Alex and look around the Mansion." All true, just like she said earlier.

"Thing is, when I saw you ... a lot of feelings rushed up inside me." Carol offers, a wry twist to her lips. She's sure it is the same for both of them. "A lot of things have changed for me. I was kicked off the Avengers for drinking. Which was my way of dealing with a lot of things, including the emptiness. I got dry and sober. I've been going through counseling, getting 'hold of myself better, learning how to deal with how I feel, in positive ways. Staying in control, but also learning to accept when I'm not in control. Making amends to the people I hurt." Sound familiar?

"Thing is, Rogue, I'm one of the people I have hurt. And one of the many ways I did that was by wallowing in hate and self-pity over things, including you and me. If I want to get better, and stronger, I have to face those things." Carol shrugs. "And that means letting go. It's done. I don't know if we'll ever be best friends. But I can't keep harboring all that negativity. It'll just burn me out inside. And frankly, it's not helping either of us. You deserve better. And so do I. So." So, she struggled through an apology. It may not be pretty. But hopefully it helps them both.

Rogue smiles as she hears Carol has to say "Thanks, Ah always wanted to down to ya Mansion and talk, but Ah never thought ya would want to even see me, because Ah know what Ah done to ya, Ah can never make up to ya, no matter what Ah do. So thank ya once again for being the better woman. Oh if ya want, ya call me Anna, thats what my mama named me, Rogue is just a nickname I got." She is not really sure why put the last part in, but it sounded nice.

"Well, just so long as you remember that I'm Carol, not just 'Captain Marvel' or 'Ms. Marvel.'" She extends her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Anna. You're welcome for the forgiveness. And I look forward to being friends, or at least being friendly to one another. Hopefully with time we'll get to the point that we don't just bristle at the sight of each other."

Rogue shakes her hand, not reluctantly for a change "Thanks, Carol, Ah appreciate the forgiveness and Ah we could try to be friends" as she is happy she one less problem on her mind" So didya still want to walk around the mansion a bit?"

"Sure, Why not? Let's go ahead with the ten-penny tour." Carol offers with a smile, as she scoots off the sofa and stands, waiting for Rogue before they head off into the Mansion. "Alex said that the place is pretty full. Lots of new and old faces around. He even joked you all might need to put on an addition." And off they go.

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